Its another tiring day of work and trying my very best to get you off my mind (its really exhausting) So many photos of you and your friends having fun in JB are surfacing on Instagram, that girl is talking to you again on twitter and probably texting you too. Or have you guys went for another movie date again despite barely knowing each other. Or maybe in my many times of absence you have built a relationship stronger than ours? My insecurities are eating me up hun. Its 6 days to our 1000th day or maybe not so much of 1000 days because there were too much of "breakups" in between. But nevertheless, 1000 days ago it was when you said you were jumping for joy when i said yes at 01.22pm. Its been a week since you last checked our only source of memories. Its feels like i'm at the second degree sometimes but at other times, it feels like its the sixth degree where i admit i may have messed up a little. I've been using wechat to make calls i know you wouldn't answer. But also because of the same reason i have the courage to call and see that "Not responding" before each call ends.It feels exactly like i have called you because of how you would not answer my calls in such circumstances. Strange isn't it? I want to call you but at the same time i don't want to.

I don't know what's my stance right now but i'll probably figure it out as time ticks away painfully. I want to run into your embrace and melt all my pain away yet i want to push you away for causing me so much pain. 

Sometimes i think i am so strong, no one, not even myself knows that i am struggling. 

Last night i wondered to myself, how can someone break your walls so easily without knowing how to build it back. Not everyone could do it, but you did. 

Project work PI deadline is on Tuesday and here i am still blogging while i am still stuck at my first draft hahaha. Its just not my cup of tea. I've been avoiding it for as long as i can. Definitely won't get my fantastic grade for it :(((( But argh, this sucks so much. Probably going to spend my night doing my last push (or maybe second last) push for it. Wish me luck!