This weekend was a really unproductive weekend. I had barely done any school work. I wasn't in my right mind to do anything. 

Today is mother's day and i am guilty of not getting my mum anything nor having any celebration for the greatest woman on earth
. I've been thinking about a lot of things by the end of today. What exactly is family and what exactly are friends? 

This morning, i heard dad raising his voice over the phone to my mum while i was having my tuition in the room. In the end it was because mum asked him out to eat or perhaps bring us all out to eat. But dad found her troublesome. Last night, he said he was tired and slept early. This morning till noon he was sleeping. And right now, he is sleeping too. Is he that tired? What made me think so much was while he found mum troublesome for asking him out, as always, he went out immediately till night when my uncle called him over to help out at the temple. I'm sure that would have been way more troublesome but why did he react so differently? It has just been months since that major incident between them and right now this couple seems to be heading right back to that state. 

Mum is out now, probably with that guy friend but it makes me feel so uneasy. But how could they sleep apart at night and not miss each other. How can they be sleeping together yet it feels like they are sleeping alone. What exactly is this family built upon? Is this their kind of love or is it just commitment left. Would things have been different if not for kids. This sucks. All these questions are killing me mentally. On nights like these its just so lonely. 

Next thing is a friendship. I know i have many great friends all around me. But why did Yuting ignore me when i merely mentioned help from her. I mean she has always been the one who makes me feel like hey this is a true friendship. Millions of miles apart, we're still in contact even though i did neglect her sometimes saying i'll call but i didn't or not replying till some time later. But she has always been rather prompt in replying me. Why is it that when i mentioned about help, its like magic POOF she's gone. Did i misunderstand the situation? I suppose only time will tell. But in this point of time seems like relationship failed me badly, kinship isn't doing well and friendship, what are those? I wouldn't say all of my friends are like that, some seems true to me too but i think i'll never ever know unless i needed help from them. Who truly stays and what truly stays. Oh god, my thoughts just can't chill. I just feel like drowning in them right now, help..